(Biblical) Texts From Last Night
brynnasaurus:

Just a reminder that sometimes life is beautiful

Re-reblogging to let you know that he won the Writer’s Guild Award. So, booyah.

brynnasaurus:

Just a reminder that sometimes life is beautiful

Re-reblogging to let you know that he won the Writer’s Guild Award. So, booyah.

(002): Mom says I can’t go out tonight. It’s my great great great grandfather’s 800th birthday.

(030): Damnit, Methuselah, you’re 250. Move out of your mom’s.

(010): plz tell me ur downtown. king david is dancing naked down the street.

(022): i came out of my apt, saw the royal orb and scepter, and went back to bed.

(000) Should we release Jesus or Barabbas? Text your answer to PILTE (74583). (Standard messaging rates apply. Reply ‘STOP’ to opt out of future offers.)

(003) can you get vd from a snake?
(002) what the hell did you get up to last night????

(102) remember that time you got drunk and hooked up with your gf’s roomie by accident? this is like that, only it was her sister and now we’re married

(033) there was a pretty girl and then my hair got cut off and my hangover is so bad i’m gonna die. brunch?

(020) caspar says that the star will show us where to go

(033) translation: caspar lost his gps charger again

(010) Can you return myrrh without a receipt?

(111) Totally lost my brother and my rainbow coat last night.  Fuck, how many poppers did I DO?